My mind tells me I’m nowhere near old, yet the calendar and my birth certificate tell me otherwise. How this can be I don’t know. There is no way I graduated from high school 55 years ago. That’s utter bull. No way. Uh huh.
A 40-year-old son? What happened to his soccer games and baseball games? Those are now being replaced by his OWN kids’ schedules.
No way. Uh huh.
Am I in denial? Definitely.
How does one deal with this major mental roadblock in your life?
You change your hair color.
All my life I was an auburn tartie. Loved that deep reddish brown look. Then my hair started turning gray on the sides, so I figured what the heck. Let it go.
So this salt and pepper look hung around my face for a number of years. Deep down inside I wished I had long, thick hair, or curly hair or blonde hair — anything but this thin, flat mop that frames my face.
Retirement is indeed a golden time, but it’s also a stress of its own making. No going back. No changing bad decisions or bad hair choices. It’s all or nothing these days. There’s not a lot of time anymore to mull and dwell and dawdle. You’re moving forward at the speed of light these days, so you need to stop and smell the roses as you head down the road.
And I got to wondering — if not now, when?
So I went to the salon today and asked for purple and blue highlights be put in my hair. Not subtle, barely-there colors. These are bursts of lavender and cobalt and darker purples dancing all through this gray mop.
And it looks great.
People will definitely turn an eye when I walk by. I will create my own center of attention that I’m not sure I want.
But I did something out of the box. Something unusual and attitude adjusting and scary and life defining. I’ve never been a beauty, and the gray hair was draining any confidence I had stuffed into the nooks and crannies of my life.
There are not many opportunities to change your emotional direction as you get older. People may say let it go and I’m so over all of this and I’m perfectly happy with who and what I am.
But often there’s a chink in that armor. Deep down inside we may not always be as confident as we think we are. As we want to be.
So why not take a step out of that rut and try something new? Different? At this point in life, what have you got to lose?
If not now, when?