For the Girls

~ humoringthegoddess

The blog this morning is more for my girls out there than my guys — although both are encouraged to follow along.

I have never been what would call “a knock out” in the looks department. I’ve rarely been called beautiful, lovely, or even cute. But I managed to find a loving husband and produced two great kids and three fantastic grandkids, so my life has been good.

But during these golden years I often look in the mirror and wonder … what happened?

Who is this pudgy, flat-haired, big glasses woman looking back at me?

No doubt many of you have kept in shape over the years, finding the right color, hair style, and diet to carry you along the windy river of life. But don’t you sometimes look in the mirror and wonder what happened?

Not only to your youth, but your looks, your body, your mind?

I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. I’ve worked all my life to get where I am today, as did all of you. And it has paid off — every minute of every day.

But I am of the boomer generation, whose biggest flaw is that we look to TV and movies and the entertainment world to see what the world wants us to look like.

I KNOW we have big hearts and bright minds and great taste and have been successful all around the globe.

But deeply ingrained in our subconscious is the thought that we should be skinner, less wrinkly, have bigger lips or smaller waists or thicker hair. We’re not supposed to get old or flabby or slow getting out of the car.

I don’t know if the current crop of little girls will go through the same social pressures as we did — I’m sure cyber bullying is right up there with being good at sports. I could ask my 8 year old granddaughter what she thinks of herself but I don’t want to open doors that don’t need to be opened. You know? I’d rather praise her talents and her cute hair cut or good grade or her soccer goal — something I don’t remember many doing around me when I was growing up.

I am actually getting to the point where every day I tell myself that I am blessed that I made it to 73 looking a little rougher and doughier than I’d hoped, rather than have made it to 50 and that was the end.

We all are so much more than what our mirrors reflect. We know that. We just have to listen to what our souls say.

Or maybe not look in the mirror so often…

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Published by humoringthegoddess

I am a writer of fantasy fiction that often surrounds middle-aged women. I am a married mother of two and granny to three, a BoHo Chic kinda gal. I am recently retired and busier than when I worked 9-5. But writing and blogging is my main game.

26 thoughts on “For the Girls”

  2. This is really a great wise word of wisdom for all of us young and old. I believe more of us are what you describe rather than the prime and proper version of perfection. At our age we learn to just go with it, let the mirror say what it will, smile and go on! Well done!

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  6. I love this…..so true. I’ll bet there are men who can relate too but they just won’t admit it. The media never put pressure on them as much. However at 73, I am so happy I made it this far that I really don’t care anymore. I’m still groovy! You are too.

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  7. Growing up halfway between Hollywood and “The OC”, I was often reminded (by words or actions) that I don’t meet min standards for beauty. Took till around 55yrs old for me to stop caring, but I remain highly aware.

    For me, the worst is when I look in the mirror and see my mom.

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  8. I couldn’t resist… I don’t think it’s just a gal thing. I’m 66 and aside from severe arthritis in both my ankles, impeding normal mobility, I’m still healthy. I too, look in the mirror and wonder what happened to that guy who was a firefighter, marathon runner and competitive tennis player. The women weren’t interested in me, but maybe I was oblivious. Next week though, my wife and I celebrate our 40th anniversary. As a guy who sees death every day, there are no age requirements and we never know when the next thing we know . . is the last thing we know. Just remember, we made it this far and there are countless folks who did not. Life is short, but dead is for a very long time. Might as well enjoy what you have. Regards, from SC.

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    1. I am glad to hear men suffer from this too. Although it’s not as much suffering as acceptance. Maybe that’s it. I don’t want to complete the cycle. I want to be in the middle with a chance to improve forever.

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  9. Praising your 8-year-old granddaughter for her soccer goals and talents rather than centering her looks is such a powerful way to break that generational cycle! It’s so easy to fall into the trap of media expectations, but your perspective at 73 is such a refreshing reminder of what actually matters.

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      1. Breaking those generational cycles takes so much intention, and your granddaughter is so lucky to have you in her corner! 💖 Building her up today will give her a foundation of confidence that lasts a lifetime. Thank you for sharing such a sweet, open reflection—wishing you both a wonderful and joyful week ahead! 😊

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          1. Believe me, having seen the toxic behavior of surrounding adults, I know when someone tries to fly higher than the ground he was forced to walk, takes a lot of strength. You’re teaching your grandkids to fly and that’s amazing. My respect and gratitude 🙏

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            1. That’s a beautiful thing to say. Sometimes I think I don’t have much to offer today’s children (grandkids), especially when we/me have suffered from low self esteem at times. But if you believe in people and in your inner strength, you can pass on confidence, which is what makes the world stronger.

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              1. You have so much more to offer than you think! 💛 Passing on that inner resilience and belief in people is the greatest gift a grandparent can give. Teaching confidence by simply being there and caring deeply is what truly builds them up. Wishing you a peaceful and wonderful week ahead! 😊

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