A Stutter in the Connection

Getting older is so much fun.

Your body makes all kinds of new noises, your legs or knees or back give out more readily, and you find yourself saying “What?” a whole lot more often. My temperature runs from freezing to hot flash and back in a matter of minutes. I laugh and tell my friends that I was doing great until I turned 60 — now everything’s falling apart.

But I take the deconstruction with a grain of salt. After all, I’m still working, running (or rather walking fast) around with my grandkids, working in my garden, and watching Chinese TV series.

What I am finding that I’m not too keen on, though, is that I’m stuttering in my mind when I speak.

I have always been a talker. A lot of it is nonsense and houey, but I usually had a thought and comment for everything. I suppose in our youth we all think we have something to say. But now when I talk to people, I feel the marbles rolling around in my head before I speak. As I said, I view this as a stutter in my mind, which makes me lose confidence before the words come out of my mouth.

I can still write great blogs and letters and lines for e-mails. While my language has always been so much better when written rather than spoken, I’m starting to find that my spoken words don’t really flow like I want them to. It’s like my brain can’t keep up with my thought patterns. When writing that’s okay. But when speaking it’s a little different.

This whole situation has me a little spooked. It’s doesn’t happen all the time, just now and then. But it makes me feel like I’m slow. It’s like I’m waiting for the next intelligent word to come along but the bus doesn’t pick you up, it just drives by.

Let’s not talk brain tumors and Alzheimer — let’s just talk about it being a symptom of getting older. Which sucks in the flower of life. So tell me — Does this ever happen to you?

9 thoughts on “A Stutter in the Connection

  1. I started going downhill at 30… You doubled that so your doing great! My marbles are already rolling at 40 as well 😦 Hopefully i can retire early in a tropical paradise before i turn completely senile!


  2. Oh yes Claudia, I’m a far betterer writer than talker. Do you get that quizzical look from those your talking too, as if to say, I wonder what you said, because it didn’t make any sense to them !! And I know I said it all different to the actual way I was thinking and to what I really wanted to say. Most perplexing and annoying, haha, but everyone seems to get a laugh out of it except me.!!, because I can’t remember what I just said………. now I stop, my writings going ahead of head……


  3. Oh boy. I certainly have the aches, noises, unruly body thermostat, and many other “over 60” ailments. I still work and have many outside responsibilities, but one thing that concerns me is my ever shortening memory. At work, and at home, I have notes all over the place, lest I forget what I need to do. It is unnerving when the memory fails. It’s not just that I need reminding to recall, but I can’t remember some things at all.


    1. Thank you for sharing…as I go through that too. I am very defensive at times about these maladies…because I believe they’re not really happening to me. Maybe to the lady down the road, but not me….


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