Never really over-the-top embarrassing things (although I’m sure that’s down the road for me), but just things I do trying to fool myself into thinking I’m doing something when I’m really doing something else.
Now that I’m retired I’m home during the day, but I am busy from dawn to dusk. If not my “fun” projects its the wear and tear of daily housekeeping. I’m keeping control over my daydream projects, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have too many to begin with.
Sometimes in the afternoon I get really tired. That two o’clock sugar drop thing. When I was at work I’d hit the Coke machine. At home, I’m sometimes tempted to just take a 20 minute nap.
But you know me. I can’t sit still for five minutes. I can be dog tired but can’t keep my eyes closed long enough to get ten minutes of anything.
So now during early afternoon hours I sit in my warm, bright living room and work on the computer. I have a half dozen projects that really need working on. So I turn on music or TV babble in the background and start. And before I know it I’m slipping in and out of dreamsville, typing nonsense or losing my way online.
Who am I fooling?
When the body tells you to take a break, you take a break.
You don’t pretend you don’t need a break and go on to do A or B or C and do them poorly because you can’t keep your eyes open.
That’s in the same vein as dealing with regular sinus headaches.
I feel them coming and tell myself I need to take some sinus meds and sit and close my eyes before they get worse. But I want to fix one more Angel Tear. Fold one more basket of laundry. Download just a few more images for the Gallery.
One more One more One more until it’s too late and the headache blasts through my head like a nuclear explosion.
What is with me?
Why don’t I listen to myself?
I think more of us are like me than not. That’s why we’re stressed. We don’t take the time to take care of ourselves up front before a drop turns into a bucket full. Then we waste precious time doing what we were supposed to do in the first place instead of doing what we scheduled ourselves to do.
All confusing. All encompassing. I am getting tired of laughing.
Are you like that too sometimes?
Are you laughing?