I’m….Too Sexy for My (too small) Shirt….


At least that’s what my mind calls it. I’ve been going through my closet and getting rid of ANYTHING that doesn’t fit/has a stain/looks frumpy.

You do that all the time, don’t you? Or don’t you?

I am the first to admit that sometimes it’s hard to donate that great-looking, swingy dress that looks smashing with those gold sandals. How many parties and barbeques did we attend together?  What doesn’t compute is that it’s not as flowy as it was 15 years ago.

15 Years?? What kind of fashion maven am I?

Fashion for women is a very touchy thing. I still have my mother’s mink stoles in the front closet that she wore 50 years ago. I can’t think of a party or dinner that they would fit in, though. I still am a fan of shoulder pads in women’s sweaters, but the look I get when I wear any that are left in my closet is worth ripping them out. I am not a fashion dinosaur — I’m more like a make-the-most-of-your-bad-purchase kinda gal. Some things I thought would look great once I got them home looked just as “iffy” as they did the day I plunked them off the shelf. But I stubbornly hang it in my closet hoping they will look better. They never do.

Now, men — in an odd, pretzel-logic sort of way, this goes for you, too. I mean, how many wrenches does one man need? How many fishing lures?  Bottle openers?

And clothes? Shoes? Bling? I am all for the odd piece, the one-in-a-million outfit. I am for keeping shoes that are comfortable and jewelry that is inherited. But between those two places is a bizillion pieces of collectables that would be better off being collected elsewhere. Think of all the little kids who would LOVE to start their fishing tackle box with one of the eight identical lures you are holding onto. The unemployed woman who would look smashing in the shirt and pants that haven’t fit you since 2001.  And what granny wouldn’t give her eye teeth (if she still had them) for a pair of comfy slippers that someone gave you years ago and you’ve never worn because they’re too big?

Perhaps there is a deeper psychological issue here, one that my little fried brain can’t digest right at the moment. I believe we are always “spring cleaning.” Our collections define us, mold us. If we don’t get out from under our old trappings we can never evolve…never follow our beautiful, wandering, growing nature. There is so much out there for us to experience. So why not? Keep a bit of the old, opt out for the new. If you haven’t worn it in a year, toss it. If you haven’t fished with it in a year, stash it. Quit cluttering up your todays with yesterdays. It’s a fact of life. You can only use one wrench at a time. Having six of the same size doesn’t increase your chances of fixing whatever it is you are fixing.

Once you thin out your earthly possessions, you will be amazed at how the clutter in your head thins out, too. You wear what you really enjoy wearing — what really looks good. You catch  fish with the reliable lures your daddy gave you…you don’t need to keep the “maybe” ones that have cluttered up your tackle box for so long.

There is a double meaning somewhere in here as well. But I’ve no time to think about it. I see those dreadful, adorable sandals that pinch my feet sticking out from beneath the bed.

I’m sure there’s a bitchy boss out there who would love to wear them.


10 thoughts on “I’m….Too Sexy for My (too small) Shirt….

  1. Great post…I’m all for de-cluttering although how in the world does stuff just seem to accumulate. I like the French women’s attitude towards dressing. Just have a few great outfits and keep wearing them. Quality over quantity. Anyway, I tend to wear just a few favorites over and over while the “mistakes’ keep hanging in my closet “just in case”. Oh, my, Claudia you’ve given me another job to do.
    About shoes: comfort over style. I am so over wearing those 4 inch heels! Have a Happy Weekend. 🙂


  2. Ha! We inherited a butt-load of muskie lures from my late father-in-law — my hubby hung them up in the mudroom. I have to admit it looks like stars/lures in the shadows. But at least they’re out of the way. Now if I could just go through the stuff NOT hung up…


  3. I sooo hear you, Carrie! The thought of being an indirect “hoarder” scares me to death. I’d hate to leave that mess for others to dig through. Every week my closet is a little thinner, my wardrobe changing little by little, and I feel a new person emerging. Feels good!


  4. Excellent article, Claudia!! Now keep your eyes on that Cal Roeker guy, I personally know that he has a ‘ton of fishing lures’ and highly doubtful that he would even give up even one. Would probably file a “missing fishing lure report” at the local cop shop!!


  5. We went through a massive get-rid-of-it cleaning about fifteen months ago. It was tough but also liberating. We want to wean down possessions so that our kids don’t get stuck doing it when that inevitable day comes. Macabre but practical.


  6. Excellent! But no bummer — just think — it’s better to look smashing in 5 outfits than a 10 pound sack of flour in a 5 pound bag! Clothes first, vacation next!


  7. Excellent but scary stuff…Last spring I seriously edited my wardrobe, ended up with about 5 outfits, bought a couple of new things…problem is I keep saving them, for what, I don’t know…now I’m wearing the same old 5 pieces while dreaming of going somewhere worthy of my new clothes. Bummer.


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