Acronyms — What Does That Stand For?

Today, as most days, I find myself lost in the world of letters. Of acronyms. They haunt my day, stand in for lengthy explanations and too many words.

Sometimes I write these acronyms on a sticky note and place it at the base of my computer screen where no one can see it but me. A subtle reminder to stop doing whatever it is that I’m doing.

Like M.Y.O.B.

How many times do you find yourself getting worked up about something that has nothing to do with you? Your opinion really doesn’t matter because you really don’t know much about it. Yet you yap it up like it’s all about you.

S.S.D.D.

Everybody always asks how’s work or your family or your social life. For most of us, life doesn’t change much day to day. Somebody will ask what my plans are for the evening, and they’re the same every night. Eat, clean, watch TV, go to bed. Unless I get asked to the Met Gala or to go out to eat at Sobelmans, it’s pretty much S.S.D.D.

E.T.C.

Everyone knows this oldie acronym. It’s like yadda yadda but with initials.

B.F.D.

Everything in my life is a B.F.D. Just ask me. I need to learn to tone things down. Everything’s not a crisis. Everything’s not about me. See M.Y.O.B. for reference.

R.O.F.L.

There are a few Internet shortcuts that could apply to me, but if I have to think of what they mean every time I use them (like R.O.F.L. and A.F.K. and A/S/L) they are really just letters to me. What’s worse is that my friend David (http://davidkanigan.com/) had to tell me I had my letters mixed up!

B.2.B.

A popular phrase around work, I used to think it was body to body. Then I realized our company is a B2B. I didn’t think my translation was appropriate. Business to Business, they say.

B.F.F.

Mine drifted away last year, so the meaning has changed. But I still know what it means in a cosmic sort of way.

L.M.A.O.

A rare condition these days, nothing is better than laughing yourself silly. And my ‘A’ could use a little trimming anyway.

L.O.L.

This is a popular one, especially from my texting friends. It can mean Lots of Love or Lots of Luck, but whenever I see it I just think of lollygagging. Or lolly. Nonsense no matter which initials you use.

O.M.G.

Another popular one, often used around little kids so they don’t hear you using the Lord’s name in vain. I don’t know if there are acronyms for other swear words, though, but I really should put that on my research list.

P.O.T.U.S.

I didn’t know what that meant until a few years ago. Imagine. 60 years old and figuring it meant the place where you went to the bathroom. Where I got that I’ll never know. Never.

 

There are many, many more shortcuts for words in this world. As I said before, the Internet is full of them. But I have enough pressure on my brain cells in learning new programs at work that I don’t need to remember letters and abbreviations to get through the day.

My life is short enough the way it is. I don’t need acronyms to make it even shorter.

G.B.C.U.L8R.

 

 

Feeling Better = Writing Nonsense

Now that the pain in my back is almost gone, my mind is free to wander — and that’s always a scary thing.  Here are some cosmic thoughts (past and present) to get you going this fine Tuesday evening —

  •  If you ever get stuck in a time warp and wind up in another time, you can always become a bard. Think of all the lyrics to rock and roll songs you know!
  • If time travel is impossible, why do I hear myself saying things I said ten years ago?
  • Coca-cola is green without coloring. Ewww.
  • They say it’s better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. Does that mean if I tried to read the dictionary backwards while sitting in a bathtub and singing God Bless America and I didn’t want to stop until I was done singing and the house caught on fire because my cat knocked over the candle I had burning in the other room and I had to stop reading the dictionary, was it better never to have tried that stunt in the first place?
  • If infinity is infinite, and we can see no end to it, how do we know it’s even there?
  • Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
  •  It is a fact that the closer you get to the speed of light, the more time slows down. So isn’t a moot point to drive faster, when you actually arrive at your destination later?
  • Why does everyone on TV eat Chinese food out of the carry out container with chopsticks? I have yet to see one actor eat Chinese on a plate with a fork! I mean…come on…
  • The theory of relativity suggests that before the Big Bang 13.7 billion years ago, space and time did not exist and matter was packed together in a tiny ball. Okaay…how tiny is tiny? As if it matters…
  • You spend your entire life living and eating and dancing in three dimensions. But according to superstring theory, there are at least ten dimensions in the universe (M-theory actually suggests that there are 11 dimensions to spacetime; bosonic string theories suggest 26 dimensions). Try walking and talking in that! (fyi the article is amazing..you have to check it out..10 Dimensions)
  • Most of us are a walking storeroom of facts — we’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.

Have a great rest of your week!

 

Cosmic Questions

dogcatYou would think the winter chill would freeze my wandering brain cells, or at least slow them down some.  But as pretzel thinkers know, nothing can slow down a wandering, criss-crossy mind.

I thought about this blog this morning on the way to work. I was listening to the results of the New Hampshire primary, and wondered how our political future was going to turn out.

One thing led to another, and in my own wandering mind, I thought of putting out there some metaphysical, ethereal, weird thoughts that have no answers. Take away all political bias, all psychological jumble, and just wonder….

  • The number π (pi) is a mathematical constant, the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. Whatever that means. The point is, the digits go on and on with no pattern. π has been calculated to over two quadrillion decimal places and still there is no pattern to the digits. So why are we still calculating?
  •  They say it’s better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. Does that mean if I tried to read the dictionary backwards while sitting in a bathtub and singing God Bless America and I didn’t want to stop until I was done singing and the house caught on fire because my cat knocked over the candle I had burning in the other room and I had to stop reading the dictionary, was it better never to have tried that stunt in the first place?
  • How do cats purr? There is no purring organ in the throat of a cat, and even though extensive research has been done on the function itself, the exact origin of the function in the anatomy of cats is still unknown.
  • If infinity is infinite, and we can see no end to it, how do we know it’s even there?
  • If Mr. Spock went back in time in Star Trek and changed the timeline, did he change it for just those in his area of space, or did he interrupt the entire universe’s timeline? And how would we know if our timeline had been changed?
  • Is Donald Trump popular because he says the first thing that comes into his head? Is this something we all wish we could do, but fear getting fired/losing friends/being chastised?
  • And if the shoe fits: I have no opinion on Hillary Clinton accepting $675,000 for 3 speaking engagements, but just think — that is $225,000 per speech. If you spoke for 30 minutes each speech, you were getting paid $7,500.00 per minute. That’s $125.00 per second. That’s a lot of bongo bucks to be paid for opening your yapper.
  • If Pluto was once a planet, and now is called a dwarf planet, isn’t the word “dwarf” an adjective describing the main noun “planet”, and, therefore, once we strip all the fluff away from the basic nature of the being, Pluto once again becomes a “planet”?
  • It is a fact that the closer you get to the speed of light, the more time slows down. So isn’t a moot point to drive faster, when you actually arrive at your destination later?
  • They say light travels as both a wave and a particle. If that is so…..nevermind. I don’t understand what I don’t understand.
  • And, finally, the most important cosmic befuddlement of all: Why is it that drivers always zoom up behind you like a bat out of hell, swerve around you, jam into the spot right in front of you, then turn 30 feet further?

THAT would be the answer to all answers…

 

 

 

 

 

Frivolous Facts and Falderal

Why not fill your head with useless — but amusing — information? Here’s a few facts that you can toss around with friends and family.

 

In the Lord of the Rings, although Bill the Pony is a feature of the novel, the writers initially decided not to include him as the Fellowship make their journey for the simple logistical reason of transporting a horse deep into the mountains.  The problem was solved in the more difficult shots by using the classic pantomime trick of dressing two people up as a horse, one at the front and one at the back.                                                                                                                                                                                              

The average American’s vocabulary is around 10,000 words — 15,000 if you are really smart.  Shakespeare had a vocabulary of over 29,000 words.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

47 elephants and dancing bears survived the sinking of the Titanic and got jobs in New York thereafter.

In the movie Carrie, the slow motion scene at the end of the movie was filmed in reverse to simulate ghostlike movement effects. If watched vigilantly, cars can be seen driving backwards in the upper left hand corner of the screen.

For the movie The Wizard of Oz, Judy Garland got paid $35 a week, while Toto got paid $125.

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.