You Are Not Your Conditioning

thTruth time is often embarrassment time. Sometimes it’s an uncomfortable time. But often it is necessary time. So here goes.

This morning I read an article on ESPN.com about the Minnesota Vikings investigating a confrontation where one fan demanded to know if another fan was a refugee.  http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/14332031/minnesota-vikings-review-refugee-confrontation-fan. 

With all the bombings and shootings taking place recently, I knew it would only be a matter of time before knuckleheads started beating on anyone of a different skin color.

The truth is even more upsetting.

I went to a football game on Sunday; our group stands around on the first level, watching the teams warm up, before we go to the nosebleed seats. As I stood there, this “dark-skinned” man came up beside me, and the first thing…the FIRST THING…I thought was…is he a terrorist?

Turned out his wife came around soon, and they took pictures of each other with the field and players in the background, laughing and posing and having a good time. They took off to seats unknown, and I was instantly ashamed of what I thought.

I had no idea of his nationality, where he lived, what he did for a living. But with the media pumping fear into all of us all the time, I slipped into the same mud millions of others do. I judged a person by the color of his skin.

And I am ashamed.

I know better, I believe better. Yet years of reinforcement of prejudice from all around me had me acting like Pavlov’s dog. Bring in a trigger and your mind instantly goes to the same place. Every time. Now, the guy in the above article was an idiot; he confronted the guy openly, became unruly, and security had to be called. This is what the fellow said:

“…somewhere in his mind, all he saw was a terrorist, based on nothing more than the color of my skin. He was white, and I wasn’t. He didn’t see anything else. He didn’t know that I have lived in Minnesota for the past four years, that I was born and raised in New York and that the words ‘Never Forget’ may mean more to me than to him.  He didn’t know that when I went home and my children jumped on top of me and asked ‘How was the game?’ that I’d be holding back tears as I told them about racism instead of touchdowns.”

Is that what the world has become? A world of suspicious anti-terrorist spotters?

Yes, we have to be  aware of what’s going on around us. I learned to be alert and watch what was going on when I worked in downtown Chicago many years ago. Keep going on with your business, but don’t get lost in your daydreams until you get where you’re going.

But this terrorist threat is hurting a lot of decent people. People who keep their religion to themselves. People who work beside you and shop beside you and are as frightened of someone gunning them down as we are.

Yet extremists go far beyond stupidity and want to ban all refugees from entering the country. Want to do triple checks on their backgrounds and family trees. Why not corral them all and put them in pens like the U.S. did to the Japanese after the war?

The original point of this post was that I let my mind go to the deepest, most embarassing part of my psyche and I prejudged someone with absolutely zero facts. I admit I sometimes do that when I’m around African Americans and Mexicans and other ethnicities.  And I am ashamed.

I am spooked by weird people and giant people and people who talk too loud.

I shouldn’t be spooked by people who just came to cheer the Bears at the game just like I did.

Be aware of your knee jerk reactions. Maybe you can’t stop them, but you can at least realize them for what they are. They say you are not your conditioning — let’s hope that’s true.

And anyway — I’m sure those people who were taking pictures of themselves at the game share my sentiments about football in general and the Bears in particular. (Insert head smack here…)

 

 

They said WHAT!?

thEveryone is quoted now and then. Often it’s something like, “My mom said…”, or “The guy on the news said…”, or even “Don’t you remember what so-and-so said?” Philosophers, politicians, and celebrities all make a point to say meaningful things that will affect future generations.

Some time ago I wrote a blog, I Can’t Believe I Believed That https://humoringthegoddess.com/2011/08/11/i-cant-believe-i-believed-that/ which dispelled myths on what famous people Never said. For example, Captain Kirk never said “Beam me up Scotty.” (Go check it out!) I was going to add to the “misquote” pile this blog, until I stumbled upon something MORE entertaining – things famous people DID say. Oh, this sooooo much better…(and they all really did say these things!)

You’ve got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.      Yogi Berra, former American Major League Baseball player/manager

Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they’re bigger than everybody else, and that’s what makes them the biggest guys on the field.   John Madden, former Coach and TV announcer

If Lincoln were alive today, he’s roll over in his grave.  Former President Gerald Ford

(Q: If you could live forever, would you and why?)  I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we can’t live forever, which is why I would not live forever.   Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.  Charles De Gaulle

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.  Former President George W. Bush

I like most of the places I’ve been to but I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don’t like eating fish, and I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.  Brittany Spears

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.   Brooke Shields

(ordering a salad) Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.   Mike Smith, baseball player

So where’s the Canne Film Festival this year?   Christina Aguilera

Half the game is 90% mental.  Danny Ozark, baseball manager

What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. Former Vice President Dan Quayle

The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paint brush.   Sylvester Stallone

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.   Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

(On the death of the King of Jordan)  I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time.  Mariah Carey

The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.   Joe Theisman, former NFL Quarterback and TV Announcer

You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.   Yogi Berra, former American Major League Baseball player/manager

Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.  Alan Minter, boxer

Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, “Thank God, I’m still alive.” But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.  Senator  Barbara Boxer

I think the film ‘Clueless’ was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.   Alicia Silverstone

Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.’   Jessica Simpson

And, perhaps the most impressive of all…

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d like to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.  Mariah Carey