Mortality

~ humoringthegoddess

Mortality.

Mine and others.

Something I really try and avoid thinking about.

Let me first say I know and understand many of the cliches we all hear – you can’t do anything about it, life happens, everyone dies, yadda yadda. I am quite aware of all the positive and negative aspects about one’s last breath.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare me to death. (pun intended)

I don’t think I thought much about dying in my 30s or 40s. Granted, my mother passed away when I was 25 and she was 54; my dad made it to a ripe old age of 85.

Somewhere along the line I started losing those I loved. My brother, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Later came the train wreck of my son. And last year my brother-in-law.

Now I find many of my close family and friends have survival problems of their own. Cancer, kidney disease. Strokes. All kinds of payments for a life well lived, you could say.

And it’s creeping me out.

I think about my own demise more often than I used to. Yes, in a perfect world I will have at least 20 more years to frolic and fancy away my life. But I’m lost when it comes to taking care of those around me. Doing my best to still be their best friend… listening, talking, encouraging.

Yet still the clocks tick on.

I don’t have an answer I can truly believe in. Heaven, reincarnation, Elysian Fields – who knows what’s on the other side. I’ve never had a magical encounter with the other side, never seen or talked to those who have passed before me. No arrows pointing to the pearly gates, no spirits letting me know there’s eternity on the other side.

So lately I’ve been doing my best to shut down all that kind of thinking. It is what it is and all that.

No matter what it is, I can do nothing about it. For my friends, for my family, for myself.

If you’ve had a peek or got an answer, let me know.

Let’s all just be strong and positive and hold each other’s hands for a while.

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Published by humoringthegoddess

I am a writer of fantasy fiction that often surrounds middle-aged women. I am a married mother of two and granny to three, a BoHo Chic kinda gal. I am recently retired and busier than when I worked 9-5. But writing and blogging is my main game.

21 thoughts on “Mortality”

  1. Personally I’ve had no near death or peaks into the event. Taking care of my parents , has made me aware of how the gradual decline builds up speed towards the end. My mom was great at Thanksgiving. She was noticeably slower mentally and physically Christmas. She began to emotionally withdraw. She was so weak mid January I was worried I might not be able to care for her at home. I said nothing but that afternoon she passed away. The cause of death was heart failure. I sometimes wonder if she willed her death. My 92 year old dad is still doing as much as he can to maintain his current physical status. I truly think my mom decided she was tired and ready to go.

    That’s not an answer but it made Dennis and me make our final plans and put everything into a trust for our kids. We also made provisions for my dad because he may outlive us. It’s been a joke in our family that he’s a vampire and will live forever.

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    1. My brother in law also made that conscious decision. I was not in his head but it must have been right for him. I think I just don’t want to venture into that world until I have to. We are only human, after all, right?

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  2. the first and the last breaths don’t matter, it’s all the breaths that are, in-between, and, it’s only normal, that we start thinking about death, when we get to a certain age in our lives, that merely means, that we are, slowing, coming to accepting our own, mortality, it’s nothing to be concerned over, and we just need to, come to the understanding of how death is only a natural part of life, that we should, do all we possibly can, to, avoid it, and as we come to, accept our own mortality, we then will have, nothing to fear, after all, we’d already, dealt with what scared us the most, that we’re, going to die one day…

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  4. I don’t think anyone knows what comes next. I do know that no one dies unless they are supposed to. I should have drowned at least three times and something saved me. I should have been killed a couple of times and one of those times I was literlly magically saved. Actually, I was magically saved by whatever it was, every time. I did not save myself once. I’m ok with being dead. I see death as a friend. I don’t miss being alive when I’m asleep and I have no idea where I was before I came to this place. If we’re energy then that’s what we are. Supposedly nothing here, including us is real, just energy vibrating at certain frequencies. Supposedly consciousness using our bodies as avatars. Scientists are trying to find out where that conscious lives. We aren’t real. I believe that and the only thing I don’t want is to be sick. Death is the doorway out of here. It’s just an exit. Death has not taken everyone from me, Death has realeased them from pain and suffering and I’m grateful for that. I feel as f we’re friends and have been all my life. I hope you find the answer you need to be okay with this issue. Honestly, my friend, logically, there’s no way I should be alive, but apparently here I am. I was caught in a riptide in Lake Michigan and was already starting to drown. The lighting changed, everything changed and I wasn’t the least bit afraid and I knew I was going to die, when something flipped on my stomach and carried me, like a huge hand under me (I was exhausted from trying to swim), all the way to the shore and just dropped me there. But that wasn’t even the weirdest thing. It was winter, I was coming out of a shopping center and slid on the ice, into a busy street. My car was blocking oncoming traffic that was going aout 60 mph. I knew I was going to die. I wasn’t afraid. I saw the two cars coming right at me, I closed my eyes (I wish I hadn’t) and nothing happened. I looked around and the cars were on the other side of my car. Impossible, but it happened and no other cars were on that busy street coming toward me. THEY WERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ME. There’s no way that was possible. So, I don’t worry about it at all. No idea why I’m here but I know that something want me to stay. The other times were just as amazing. I don’t know if that helped in anyway at all but that’s how I see things. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I’m okay with that.

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    1. You are witness to the fact that there must be something more. Something we’re not privledged to know. I admit I’m selfish and don’t want to lose those around me, especially the ones touched recently by misfortune. Of course there’s nothing I can do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Constantly. Thank you for the encouragement.

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  7. Happy good afternoon. It’s me, the “Arch Duke of Death”. Last time I checked, the death rate was still at 100% and we never know when the next thing we know ends up being the last thing. I do agree however, that the whole eschatology thing can get a bit worrisome from time to time. The first realization is when we figure out that “middle aged” isn’t our late 40’s, early 50s, but our late 30s. I’m 66 and have buried hundreds, if not thousands of people younger than me. It is starting to get my attention, but like you said, there isn’t much we can do about it. I’ll leave you with these wise words that I often had to remind my elderly parents, both now deceased, every now and then when they complained that if it wasn’t for doctors appointments and funerals, they would have nothing to do. My comment, “Its better to view than to be viewed” did make sense. Smile and have a great day.

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  8. I don’t have any answers either. The most comfort I’ve gathered is from the writings of Joseph Campbell. Do you remember “the Power of Myth” series on PBS that he did in the 1980s? The Joseph Campbell Foundation has a YouTube channel with hundreds of excerpts from that series. There are several that talk about death. Basically humans have always been aware of something larger than themselves and what their senses can tell them in their experience. All kinds of stories have been created about it but it largely comes down to what you identify yourself with. Do you identify with the body and your physical experience……..or do you identify yourself with that which we are aware of that is larger than ourselves? If you identify with that which is larger, you can let the body go. Or as Woody Allen would say in paraphrase ” I’m not worried about death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens”.

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    1. I think that is much truth to that. We need to believe we are more than we are. Unfortunately many of look for proof where there is none. That’s why it’s called faith. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  9. Pingback: Mortality | Matthew 24:7 KJV For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.

  10. I am only 46 but I also think about it a lot. My dad passed in march, he was 72. He got a stroke in January and he died of bowel disease in march, my mom has COPD, she’s 64, and on oxygen, its hard, and I worry, but I try not to think about it too much because I get distressed when I do!

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