Mortality.
Mine and others.
Something I really try and avoid thinking about.
Let me first say I know and understand many of the cliches we all hear – you can’t do anything about it, life happens, everyone dies, yadda yadda. I am quite aware of all the positive and negative aspects about one’s last breath.
That doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare me to death. (pun intended)
I don’t think I thought much about dying in my 30s or 40s. Granted, my mother passed away when I was 25 and she was 54; my dad made it to a ripe old age of 85.
Somewhere along the line I started losing those I loved. My brother, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Later came the train wreck of my son. And last year my brother-in-law.
Now I find many of my close family and friends have survival problems of their own. Cancer, kidney disease. Strokes. All kinds of payments for a life well lived, you could say.
And it’s creeping me out.
I think about my own demise more often than I used to. Yes, in a perfect world I will have at least 20 more years to frolic and fancy away my life. But I’m lost when it comes to taking care of those around me. Doing my best to still be their best friend… listening, talking, encouraging.
Yet still the clocks tick on.
I don’t have an answer I can truly believe in. Heaven, reincarnation, Elysian Fields – who knows what’s on the other side. I’ve never had a magical encounter with the other side, never seen or talked to those who have passed before me. No arrows pointing to the pearly gates, no spirits letting me know there’s eternity on the other side.
So lately I’ve been doing my best to shut down all that kind of thinking. It is what it is and all that.
No matter what it is, I can do nothing about it. For my friends, for my family, for myself.
If you’ve had a peek or got an answer, let me know.
Let’s all just be strong and positive and hold each other’s hands for a while.

Happy good afternoon. It’s me, the “Arch Duke of Death”. Last time I checked, the death rate was still at 100% and we never know when the next thing we know ends up being the last thing. I do agree however, that the whole eschatology thing can get a bit worrisome from time to time. The first realization is when we figure out that “middle aged” isn’t our late 40’s, early 50s, but our late 30s. I’m 66 and have buried hundreds, if not thousands of people younger than me. It is starting to get my attention, but like you said, there isn’t much we can do about it. I’ll leave you with these wise words that I often had to remind my elderly parents, both now deceased, every now and then when they complained that if it wasn’t for doctors appointments and funerals, they would have nothing to do. My comment, “Its better to view than to be viewed” did make sense. Smile and have a great day.
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You are a gem with words of wisdom. It is the philosophy I believe too. And I am smiling, my friend.
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I don’t have any answers either. The most comfort I’ve gathered is from the writings of Joseph Campbell. Do you remember “the Power of Myth” series on PBS that he did in the 1980s? The Joseph Campbell Foundation has a YouTube channel with hundreds of excerpts from that series. There are several that talk about death. Basically humans have always been aware of something larger than themselves and what their senses can tell them in their experience. All kinds of stories have been created about it but it largely comes down to what you identify yourself with. Do you identify with the body and your physical experience……..or do you identify yourself with that which we are aware of that is larger than ourselves? If you identify with that which is larger, you can let the body go. Or as Woody Allen would say in paraphrase ” I’m not worried about death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens”.
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I think that is much truth to that. We need to believe we are more than we are. Unfortunately many of look for proof where there is none. That’s why it’s called faith. Thank you so much for sharing.
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Thank you for sharing, my friend.
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I am only 46 but I also think about it a lot. My dad passed in march, he was 72. He got a stroke in January and he died of bowel disease in march, my mom has COPD, she’s 64, and on oxygen, its hard, and I worry, but I try not to think about it too much because I get distressed when I do!
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I am right there with you. I think I just had to share this fear with those who are also going through it. I know it’s normal, but, really, who is normal these days?
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