Self-Esteem

~ humoringthegoddess

Although men are freely allowed (and encouraged) to read this blog, this one today is for all my girlfriends out there.

Self-Esteem. What is it, exactly?

The dictionary defines self-esteem as “belief and confidence in your own ability and value.”

We all believe in ourselves, don’t we? At least now and then?

Then why are we always so hard on ourselves?

Went away for a weekend with the family. Had a wonderful time. Friends, family — there’s nothing like that in the world. I believed in my own worth. My own value. As a mom, a friend, and a grandma.

Then I got a look at myself in a family photo. 

Who in the hell was that?

We all feel good about ourselves until we are reflected in 3D.  All of a sudden we become our too-wide eyes, our Rubenesque figure, our complexion or our wrinkles or our hair.

How quickly our “self esteem” plummets.

I wonder if guys ever go through that. 

I doubt if their Earthly image is often compared to thin, busty, smoldering eyes beauties. If they notice that most movie stars, rock stars, artists and models are thinner, have more perfect jawlines or skin tone, or have killer white teeth and great smiles.

Yet women are constantly held to that standard.

Yes, the playing field of women has widened through the years. There are beautiful plus size ladies, ladies with moles and wrinkles and less-than-perfect skin.

Yet somehow they pale in comparison with the world’s ideal woman.

I’ve gone through this rigamarole all my life. You would think at 71 I would be done comparing and wondering and belittling.

But self-esteem is something that is messed with from the very beginning.

I know I’m a great mother, a great granny. I am a supportive friend, a kooky conversationalist and a half-decent writer. I am supporting, loving, and inquisitive.

I’m working on that being enough.

The photo made me realize that I do need to work on this body if I’m to see 72. I get that. THAT I can work on.

The rest — I’m working on that, too.

How about it, girlfriends? Have you 100% got this self esteem thing handled? 

Or are you your own worst critic?

 

Published by humoringthegoddess

I am a writer of fantasy fiction that often surrounds middle-aged women. I am a married mother of two and granny to three, a BoHo Chic kinda gal. I am recently retired and busier than when I worked 9-5. But writing and blogging is my main game.

18 thoughts on “Self-Esteem”

  2. 🥰🥰 You’re not alone. We’re in this together. Our thoughts have a way of making us feel we are alone in all of this. It’s a bold you step you took by coming out, so that those struggling with similar issues are inspired and can connect with you. Thank you for inspiring me

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  6. It can be difficult to break the habit of being affected by criticism. However, I believe that we can become more self-aware and able to separate the criticism from our thoughts and sense of self. Ultimately, we can learn to refuse to dwell on it and move forward. To live by this truth is so difficult but it’s best we can do.

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  10. Ugh! I hate that so much of my self-esteem is wrapped up in how I look. But that was how I was raised. I even went to a modeling school for a while – to better take care of myself and gain some poise.

    I know my worth. I think I’m fabulous. But I know what you mean about a photo. I recently had new headshots done. The photographer shot the picture from the hips up. I refused to use any of them – even cropped. I’ll just keep working on being the best I can – and avoid the camera as much as possible. 🙂

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  13. As am I. And we say we’re going to stop belittling ourselves, but we often fall back into that trap. The solution to our own self doubt is to reinforce confidence and tolerance in our grandkids, our kids friends — anyone else who needs to hear it!

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  14. I am one of the lucky few who won the genetics gamble. My appearance has not suffered that much with age. But how one looks doesn’t assure high self esteem. Focusing on what I do and how I interact with others seems to boost my sense of self-worth.

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  17. You have made it to 84 BECAUSE of your ability to value your own worth — Jesus gives us the ability to forgive ourselves, too. We need to use what we have been given more often, right? I will remember to put my glasses on every morning, too!

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  18. Definitely my own worst critique. For sure, you are not alone! But, thank God we have scripture galore to teach us and assure us that beauty is as beauty does, right? And Jesus sees us from the inside out. So I’m working on remembering to put on my Jesus glasses every morning! I bet you have more than one pair hangin’ round the house! (and if you think 71 is tough on the body, try 84 1/2!) 🥴

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