Today, as most days, I find myself lost in the world of letters. Of acronyms. They haunt my day, stand in for lengthy explanations and too many words.
Sometimes I write these acronyms on a sticky note and place it at the base of my computer screen where no one can see it but me. A subtle reminder to stop doing whatever it is that I’m doing.
Like M.Y.O.B.
How many times do you find yourself getting worked up about something that has nothing to do with you? Your opinion really doesn’t matter because you really don’t know much about it. Yet you yap it up like it’s all about you.
S.S.D.D.
Everybody always asks how’s work or your family or your social life. For most of us, life doesn’t change much day to day. Somebody will ask what my plans are for the evening, and they’re the same every night. Eat, clean, watch TV, go to bed. Unless I get asked to the Met Gala or to go out to eat at Sobelmans, it’s pretty much S.S.D.D.
E.T.C.
Everyone knows this oldie acronym. It’s like yadda yadda but with initials.
B.F.D.
Everything in my life is a B.F.D. Just ask me. I need to learn to tone things down. Everything’s not a crisis. Everything’s not about me. See M.Y.O.B. for reference.
R.O.F.L.
There are a few Internet shortcuts that could apply to me, but if I have to think of what they mean every time I use them (like R.O.F.L. and A.F.K. and A/S/L) they are really just letters to me. What’s worse is that my friend David (http://davidkanigan.com/) had to tell me I had my letters mixed up!
B.2.B.
A popular phrase around work, I used to think it was body to body. Then I realized our company is a B2B. I didn’t think my translation was appropriate. Business to Business, they say.
B.F.F.
Mine drifted away last year, so the meaning has changed. But I still know what it means in a cosmic sort of way.
L.M.A.O.
A rare condition these days, nothing is better than laughing yourself silly. And my ‘A’ could use a little trimming anyway.
L.O.L.
This is a popular one, especially from my texting friends. It can mean Lots of Love or Lots of Luck, but whenever I see it I just think of lollygagging. Or lolly. Nonsense no matter which initials you use.
O.M.G.
Another popular one, often used around little kids so they don’t hear you using the Lord’s name in vain. I don’t know if there are acronyms for other swear words, though, but I really should put that on my research list.
P.O.T.U.S.
I didn’t know what that meant until a few years ago. Imagine. 60 years old and figuring it meant the place where you went to the bathroom. Where I got that I’ll never know. Never.
There are many, many more shortcuts for words in this world. As I said before, the Internet is full of them. But I have enough pressure on my brain cells in learning new programs at work that I don’t need to remember letters and abbreviations to get through the day.
My life is short enough the way it is. I don’t need acronyms to make it even shorter.
G.B.C.U.L8R.
Humoring the Goddess 