Dumb Caturday/Doggerday Jokes

Caturday and Doggerday are silly days. Just check out the name! So what’s a Saturday without a couple of dumb jokes to start it with? 

What do cats like to eat on a hot day? A mice-cream cone.

Why do cats always get their way? They are very purr suasive!

How do two cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.

What should you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.

What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mewsic.

What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.

Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? She was feline fine.

What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.

Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark

What did the cat say when it was confused? “I’m purr-plexed!”

What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard! It’s the best thing for a hot dog.

Policeman: “Excuse me Mister, but were you aware that your dog has been chasing a guy on his bike?” Dog Owner: “Are you nuts? My dog is not even able to ride a bike.”

Why did the Eskimo name his dog “Frost”? Because “Frost” bites.

Which dog always knows what time it is? A watch dog.

Why is a noisy yappy dog like a tree? They both have a lot of bark.

What do you have if you breed a cocker spaniel with a poodle and a rooster? A cockerpoodlepoo!

Why do dogs make terrible dancers? Because most of them have two left feet.

What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? Well, one of them wags his tail and the other tags his whales.

What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador.

What kind of dog is the quietest sleeper of all? A hush puppy.

Happy Caturday!

 

 

 

Another Caturday!

With the temperatures near the mid-90s today along with high humidity, today is the type of day to stay inside and pretend you’re on vacation someplace cool (unless you spend the day at the beach!)

So on this Happy Caturday I thought I’d put my cat (if I had one) in Egyptian garb and throw out some fun facts on ancient Egyptian civilization!

 

Ancient Egyptians used sauteed greyhound’s legs to cure baldness.

A medical text in the 1550 B.C. called Ebers Papyrus recommended some absurd ways the Egyptians could get rid of baldness. They included creating a mixture of fats from ibex, tomcat, hippopotamus and crocodiles. The Egyptians boiled porcupine’s hair in water and applied it to their scalp for four days. Another suggestion that the book mentioned was to sauté the leg of a female greyhound with a donkey’s hoof in oil.

 

Rhinocolura Was a City Founded by Actisanes Where Noseless Criminals Dwelled.

The legendary Ethiopian ruler Actisanes who conquered Egypt dealt with criminals in a unique way. By his ruling, whomsoever committed a crime had to get their nose cut off. And they were then sent to a city founded by him named Rhinocolura.

Entirely populated by noseless criminals, they had to cope alone in one of the country’s most draconian environments. They had to live on infected water and scattered pieces of scrap.

 

Egyptians Used Beer as Currency.

The laborers who built the Great Pyramids of Giza were often paid in beer. It was considered both a refreshment and a form of nutrition. Forget about gold or silver; in ancient Egypt, liquid bread was the real treasure.

 

Ox hooves, ashes, burnt eggshells and pumice were used for oral hygiene.

Ancient Egyptians used a combination of powders derived from ox hooves, ashes, burnt eggshells and pumice on their teeth and gums to protect the teeth from hygiene issues.

 

Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows when their cat died.

The death of a family cat was a tragedy in Ancient Egypt. The family began mourning that in many cases involved shaving their eyebrows (according to the Greek historian Herodotus) as a symbol of the pain they felt.

In that vein …..

An ancient cat cemetery was discovered in an archeological excavation carried out in 1890. More than 170,000 cats were buried in it.

Do you know what 170,000 looks like?

Texas Motor Speedway claims to be able to hold 180,000 people, but that includes the skybox seats high above too.

 

Happy Caturday!

 

 

 

Saturday — or Caturday?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Caturday!

What in the world is a CAT-ur-day? I had to look it up.

According to Amanda Blain:

Caturday has been around since roughly 2006. The tradition is pretty simple. On Saturdays, people on various websites, (starting with 4chan and gaining mass popularity on site “I Can Has Cheezburger”) people would post pictures of cats with funny text know as “lolspeak”. Lolspeak is a type of broken English, generally grammatically incorrect, almost a type of “baby talk”, that can often included well known internet memes. This adds to the humor as you can sort of imagine the cat speaking in that “child like way” to explain the situation it is displayed in.

Okay. Catspeak. Saturday. LOLspeak. I’ve got it. UhHuh.

I lost my cat a few months ago, and, although I am enjoying not changing the kitty litter all the time, I think it might be time to find another kitteh to “baby talk” to…. 

HAPPY CATurday!