Saturday morning. I still feel like I’m sitting in a vacuum.

Still locked in by Covid, still need to do some Christmas shopping, still looking for inspiration for my next blockbuster novel. Or blog post.

There was a little snow out the window yesterday morning. I wasn’t impressed. Our Christmas lights are up, we blasted Christmas music yesterday while we worked around the house, and I even baked cookies. Talked to my kids who were going to visit the other set of grandparents, and all was well. Visited my brother-in-law who is now happily situated (well, almost happily) in an assisted living environment, a much, much better place than this time last year.

And still I’m not impressed.

Is this a seasonal funk? A senior funk? A Covid funk?

What ever happened to the excitement of the season?

We all have had a lot of extra stress this year. Even the things we don’t consider stressful add to the load we carry every day. We just put up with it. Like I put up with my sinus headaches when the weather changes.

But I don’t want to “just put up with it.” I want the stress to go away. I want to sit under a blanket and eat chocolate chip cookies and watch Christmas movies and pet my dog and wait for Santa to arrive.

I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to deal with death and illness and hospital visits and financial problems and unemployment and the fear of Covid every place I look. I don’t want to listen to lies and made up stories and politics and prejudices.

I think 2020 has been a challenge for most of us. If you take out the Covid  and election equations, it’s probably no worse than any other year. Life is full of frustrations and disappointments. It’s just how it goes.

It’s what we do with those disappointments that make us who we are. Who we are going to be. We have to learn to either “just deal with it” or ignore it completely. It’s still all there.

I think that the most important thing to do this season is to vent your frustrations. Get them out of your body and release them to the cosmos. It’s okay to not be in the mood for Christmas cheer. It’s okay to be mmpphh about Christmas stockings and It’s a Wonderful Life and elf on the shelf.

The things we’ve had to face — things we have to face — are hard enough as it is. Forcing Christmas Cheer only puts more fuel on a smouldering fire.

I know I always feel better once I vent. I know I can’t change the flow of the river or the tilt of the Earth’s axis, but I sure can let the sour grapes raise to the surface so I can get rid of them before I get indigestion.

And I also know it doesn’t take much to slide over to the bright side. A favorite Christmas song, a phone call from a grandbaby, a text from a friend — it doesn’t take much to remind me that I am blessed in so many ways that the misfortunes that pass by are just a corner of the puzzle.

Life — in all its glory — is the rest of it.

Now — off to find those chocolate chip cookies —