Dating Memories

Last night hubby and I watched the movie “The Big Lebowski” from 1998 with Jeff Bridges and John Goodman.

I know that this kind of movie isn’t on the top 10 list of most of you enlightened readers. It’s sophomoric movie about a bum (The Dude) who seeks restitution for a ruined rug, and his super weird bowling buddies who help get it.  It’s full of swearing, smoking dope, mistaken identities, and super weird characters.

It was one of my son’s favorites.

Yesterday was my late son’s birthday, and we spent the evening honoring him in as many ways we could. Watching crazy movies from the end of the 20th century was one way to do it.

But the purpose of this blog was to note how this movie rang some bells of my own.

A lot of the movie takes place in a bowling alley. An early 90s bowling alley.

I met my husband at a bowling alley in an early 80s.

Those were the days. 

Sparkling bowling balls and orange and beige half-round seats that could hold 8 bowlers comfortably. Some weird dude behind the counter spraying disinfectant into bowling shoes that you could rent along with abandoned bowling balls you could use for free. Trying to remember the difference between an X and a / and adding numbers in your head for the score sheet. The sounds of bowling pins constantly falling over, people laughing and drinking and trying to keep a 15 pound ball rolling straight down the middle of a narrow lane.

True love by strikes and spares.

It made me wonder how young people meet and fall in love these days. If it’s not during high school or college or it work or fix-ups through friends, how do they do it? No smelly bowling alleys, dusty softball fields, or out-of-control beer house parties. No eyeing each other from separate blankets at outdoor rock concerts. No immediate or chance eye contact that explodes into that zing-a-ling feeling. No guessing about the other’s family or job or hobbies or habits, for today you can pick up a Google trail on just about anybody.

Alas, I would hate to think dating apps and Zoom and Snap Chat are their only choices, for nothing says romance like the smell of a well-oiled bowling alley lane and the stinky shoes that go with it.

 

 

 

 

 

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!

Gonna keep on dancing
To the rock and roll
On Saturday night, Saturday night
Dancin’ to the rhythm
In our heart and soul
On Saturday night, Saturday night

Bay City Rollers, 1973

 

Today’s thoughts in the clouds are more of a shake, rattle, and roll of the brain in general and memory in particular.

I was wondering — how important was Saturday night to you? Moreover, how important was Saturday night to you when you were 16, 17 years old?

I heard this song on an oldies station the other night. I happened to be driving home, the sunset orangy and red and beautiful, the weather on the tip of being warm. And I thought about  how special Saturday Night was once upon a time. Especially to young dreamy girls. (Maybe guys too — I never asked!)

The generation 10 years before me sighed and danced to All I Have to Do is Dream by The Everly Brothers and hoped and prayed someone would ask them out on a date to a soda shop or drive-in or record shop. Having a date on Saturday night was very important to one’s ego and status back in 1958. 

Back then, the ultimate proof of a successful Saturday night was “going steady.” Tokens of that depth of commitment were getting pinned, wearing your boyfriend’s letterman sweater, or exchanging school rings. 

My generation of 1968 was not much different. Being pinned or exchanging high school rings was still important. I remember going steady during part of my high school life, and always needing to do something on Saturday nights. I was dreamy eyed listening to  Love is Blue by Paul Mauriat and spent hours either talking on my pink princess phone to girlfriends or reading Modern Bride or Seventeen magazines.  

This song got me to thinking. The Bay City Rollers were sooooo excited to go out on S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night. Even in 1973 that was the  highlight of the week! The ultimate goal! The pièce de résistance!  

Time moves forward. Things change. Times change. Girls and women change. And I wondered what dating life was like for girls 16-17 years old back in 1988. Or 1998. Or even 2008.

I dunno — even though my late high school days were an emotional mess, I miss having a special date night of the week to plan for and to look forward to. Not that I still don’t go out on Saturday nights — maybe I just miss the innocent anticipation.

Was Saturday night a big deal to you? Is it a big deal these days?

I would love to hear your stories. Your experiences. Your thoughts.

♪♪ Blue, blue, my world is blue …. Blue is my world now I’m without you ♪♪♪

 

Reflections on the Beach

SandPail_2Perspective. It’s what makes all the difference in life, doesn’t it?

Looking up through the trees at the sky looks different than looking across the trees at the sky. Glasses half empty or half full. All that falderal.

Like life at the beach.

This afternoon I was sitting at a picnic table at a small beach at a small lake in a small town. I’d finished my part of the water ballet, letting my grandson and his grandpa finish the ballet water-splash style.

The world went on as it always has…it’s just that this time I was sitting on the other side of the table. Watching the world as an observer instead of a participant.

It’s pretty busy for a small beach. Little kids manage to hit the excited scream level a lot of the time – whether it was laughing, fighting with siblings, or crying. I wonder if the sound bounces off the water a lot harder these days.

Women chat while their kids jump off the pier. Cathy was still going out with the louse from the next town, Handy’s had the best fish fry this side of the Mississippi. Jim was always working overtime and spending his spare hours at the golf course, and Neighbor Grocery’s produce had gone down in quality the last few years. I myself have always loved the ebb and flow of people talking when they don’t think others are listening. Voices always float through the air, bits and pieces getting caught in the sack chair or wrapped around the picnic bench so that all you catch is a sentence’s jagged inference. Maybe the louse from the next town is a dentist, maybe he’s a mechanic. All that could be grasped was the audacity of the woman sharing her thoughts.

Love games still abound at the beach, too. The cute little high schooler, long legs, short shorts, long dark hair wrapping around her shoulders; and the tall, lanky guy, not really a jock but not bad looking. She sways back and forth, hands behind her back, playing the coy card. He leans forward, saying something a little risque, and they both laugh, she turning slightly away. He threatens to throw her in the water; she squeals “no no!” in her loveliest girly voice. He grabs her towel (or hat or sunscreen), hides it behind his back, and she giggles, trying to get it back from him.

A lovely Lolita-ish girl walks down the pier, her tanned body barely covered by her flowered bikini. A young thing, maybe late high school, maybe a tad older, walking down to the end of the pier, blonde hair blazing in the sun, where she stops, and I imagine, sighs dramatically. There’s no sunset to dream upon yet; no cat calls from the audience, no college scholarship with her name on it. But there’s something sexy and dramatic about the sad, curvy side of youth.

Kids are always kids. One skinny 5-year-old desperately tries to gain the attention of two older 8-year-old girls, his arms flaying in the air, his swim goggles making him look like Rocky the Flying Squirrel. My insecurities make me uncomfortable. He doesn’t feel anything of the kind. He drifts off to look for fish in the shallow water, the girls never knowing he was there.

Three boys, all but four years old, compete with each other as Superman jumping off the deck into the shallow water. Bigger boys come by and laugh, some jump in and splash the little ones aside, making waves, being even cooler than the little kids. The little kids are too young to care; the middle schoolers get an ego boost by bullying those half their age.

It’s a cornucopia at this little beach on this little lake in this little town. I fancy nothing has changed in all the years moms have been bringing their kids to swim and high schoolers have come to make out and flirt and make plans for Saturday night. Not even me.

I still think of the time I never spent at the beach, never flirting with the kinda cute guy on the pier, never  dreaming dreams only cute girls can dream.