Believe something and the Universe is on its way to being changed. Because you’ve changed, by believing. Once you’ve changed, other things start to follow. Isn’t that the way it works?
― Diane Duane, So You Want to Be a Wizard
It’s amazing how much control it has over each and every one of us.
Magazines and TV and movies depict women as skinny and beautiful. We look at them and think of how much less we are then they. Everyone around you has sweet, adorable children. It puts our choice of not having kids in doubt.
We KNOW we are right in most — if not all — of our decisions in life. Yet our mind tries to second guess our determination. Our mind tends to go off of emotion and not common sense.
And we let it.
Now many of us have some control over our minds. An impulse to punch someone in the face or stab someone in the back is quickly dissolved and rationed away as PMS, bad mood, stress, or just Tuesday. Our desire to take off to Paris for the weekend is tempered by keeping our job and our bank account.
Why are we so weak on defending the rest of our spirit?
It’s probably easier for some than others to shut your chattering, wandering, judgemental mind down. To put it in its place. I know it’s a constant battle in my head. I’m not young and blonde and beautiful. I’m 64 and short and pudgy. I’m not a CFO or CEO. I’m more like UFO. But to tell the truth, it’s an uphill battle to shut off and shut up my comparison psyche.
Look at what happens when we “put our mind to it.” We create masterpieces. We decorate our homes, paint pictures, make fantastic quilts and shawls and jewelry. We become writers and teachers and financial experts. We save money enough to vacation, tour, lecture, and learn.
Yet our minds tell us we’re not good enough because we’re a couple of pounds overweight or our hair is starting to turn gray or our job is merely a waitress or a data clerk.
We let our wandering minds wander all over our goals and dreams.
I see it time and again. In blogs and social media, at work, at the gym, at the playground, in shared whispers with friends and family. If only I were… If only I could…We look to an altered version of ourselves to be happy. To be successful. To be in love. Like true peace of mind and soul is out there somewhere.
You all know what I’m going to say. Because you know it’s true.
True happiness isn’t out there — it’s in HERE. In your head. In your aura. Look at how easy it is to take a situation and turn it around. Half empty or half full.
It’s all your choice.
Choose to be happy. Pick positive over negative.
Think it’s hard?
Just try it. Just CHOOSE.
Your soul will thank you.
If you have a few spare minutes, come read Maja’s post…get your confidence back and keep it running. We are all artists!
Most of the confidence we develop throughout the years stem from our past experiences – predominantly on how other people perceived us and our work. Not gaining enough recognition, pile of rejection letters and even just a random bad comment can blow away all our creative self-esteem – that many people stop creating all together. Paying too much attention on other people opinions can instill fear that paralyzes not only our creative outlets but practically our complete approach to life. That kind of attitude leads to isolation, avoidance of trying new things and not sharing our accomplishments with the world.
The good news is that we have control of our feelings towards what creatively we can offer to the world.
When you get to the root of this problem, it’s all about belief and what we chose to believe. You can chose to believe that:
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One minute I think — no, wait — I know — I know what I’m doing. Charge full speed ahead. Do it my way. Oh, do the work, do the research, but since most around me don’t listen to me anyway, just do it.
The next minute — no, wait — the next day — I have no confidence at all. What the heck was I thinking? It was a waste of time/energy/thought process.
This year is my Golden Year. Sssssssssixttty Twooooooo….(you know how hard that is to say). Golden because I finally have found a second wind, a second dream, a second chance. I’ve found a calling, and I don’t want to let go.
But also, being sixty two, I have had my fill of other’s ideas, criticisms, and opinions. I’m tired of listening to opinions that go nowhere, eyes that glaze, and minds that are always closed.
Herein lies the spike up and down.
I find I still do need eyes that glaze and closed minds to open my own. And I still need to reach out to others for help.
After all these years I still find that I still am afraid of putting out my ideas to others. I’m afraid of rejection, closed minds, eyes that glaze — all that negative stuff. And I find that all of that gets in the way of getting what I really want.
I know I’ve said this to you before, but don’t be afraid to share your ideas and directions with those who can really keep you on task. Those who enjoy your work and can give you the boost you need to take it to the next level.
Those who can see what you cannot.
Never take suggestions from those whose opinions you respect as criticism. Don’t take them as daggers to the heart, or balloons bursting in front of you. I know that’s the first place we all go. But it’s a waste of time and heart.
Tonight I broke bread — or rather ice cream — with a friend whose experience and friendship I trust. So I threw out my idea(s) for my Golden Stuff, and got some excellent feedback. Feedback I wasn’t expecting. Feedback that I hadn’t even thought of. Feedback I wouldn’t have gotten had I not “put it out there.” I know now that I have more work to do — and that’s a good thing.
Working on your dreams is a lot of work — whether you’re 25 or 55 or ___ (fill in the blank). Don’t settle for yesterday. Or maybe take yesterday and use it for today, which will be for tomorrow. And ask others. Take their thoughts and see if they fit within your own. If they don’t fit, that’s okay. But you’ll never know if they fit until you try.
Let’s work on this puzzle together.
I think I will take a cue from some of my fellow bloggers and take some time off. Time for myself, time for my family. I’m more of a guest this Christmas than a Hostess, which is just fine with me. I want a few days to spoil my kids, my grandkid, my family and my friends. And in my generosity I will be spoiling myself.
So one thought, one piece of advice this Holiday Season. Christmas is only another day. A number on the calendar. A bulls-eye on the dartboard. It is what’s in your heart that makes it special. It is the (arbitrary) birth date of Our Lord. It’s the imagination of Santa Claus. It’s the Elf on the Shelf and Hanukkah.
But it’s just another day. Don’t let the sadness of not being “with” someone or “celebrating” the right way get in the way of living your life. Celebrate Christmas every day. Find the light of God, the Goddess, Buddha, in your heart. Not someplace “out there.” Be thankful every day. Let the magic of the season stick with you long after the tree is down and the garland is packed away.
Your life will be fuller because of it. And we all love to be full, don’t we?