Your body makes all kinds of new noises, your legs or knees or back give out more readily, and you find yourself saying “What?” a whole lot more often. My temperature runs from freezing to hot flash and back in a matter of minutes. I laugh and tell my friends that I was doing great until I turned 60 — now everything’s falling apart.
But I take the deconstruction with a grain of salt. After all, I’m still working, running (or rather walking fast) around with my grandkids, working in my garden, and watching Chinese TV series.
What I am finding that I’m not too keen on, though, is that I’m stuttering in my mind when I speak.
I have always been a talker. A lot of it is nonsense and houey, but I usually had a thought and comment for everything. I suppose in our youth we all think we have something to say. But now when I talk to people, I feel the marbles rolling around in my head before I speak. As I said, I view this as a stutter in my mind, which makes me lose confidence before the words come out of my mouth.
I can still write great blogs and letters and lines for e-mails. While my language has always been so much better when written rather than spoken, I’m starting to find that my spoken words don’t really flow like I want them to. It’s like my brain can’t keep up with my thought patterns. When writing that’s okay. But when speaking it’s a little different.
This whole situation has me a little spooked. It’s doesn’t happen all the time, just now and then. But it makes me feel like I’m slow. It’s like I’m waiting for the next intelligent word to come along but the bus doesn’t pick you up, it just drives by.
Let’s not talk brain tumors and Alzheimer — let’s just talk about it being a symptom of getting older. Which sucks in the flower of life. So tell me — Does this ever happen to you?