Shhhh Kitty Kitty Kitty….

~ humoringthegoddess

Let me start off by saying – I love cats. I love MY cats. They are solace when I am sad, they are loving when I feel empty.

Now.

My cats also drive me up the proverbial wall.

They do the usual “cat” things…they lay on my laptop when I’m typing, sleep by my head when I’m trying to sleep. But they also make more noise than the Park Street Band. Especially Tom.

Tom is my grey and white tuxedo. He is the friendliest, coolest cat I’ve ever owned. He holds his own against my chocolate lab, along with the two other labs that practically live at my house. He allows my grandson to carry him all  around the house, feet dangling near the floor, as his body as long as my grandson is tall. He loves to lay on your lap – anyone’s lap – especially if you are under a blanket.

What’s the problem, then, you ask?

It’s multifold, actually.

First off, his meow is loud and demanding. Not just when he’s hungry, but when he wants a snack. When he wants a bite. When the other cat eats more than her share of breakfast and dinner. He’s not a fat cat – he’s just a slow eater. A bite, a nibble, a nap, another bite. So his eating/lifestyle often leaves his bowl empty, and his meow obnoxious. Relentless. Over the top.

I think Tom must be a vocal kind of cat. For his pestering snacking “meow” doesn’t hold a candle to his…cleaning ritual.

I have never heard a cat be so loud in cleaning himself. Not just a licky here, chewy there. This is a full-blown, groaning, squeaking, icky-sticky ritual. Grunts and groans that would make a sound effects master blush. And he seems to pick the quietest times to take a bath. 2 a.m. 4 a.m. When I just go to bed. An hour before I wake up.  If he can’t lick himself, he licks the dog’s head. Unless I close the bedroom door at night, he is there like clockwork. Cuddling, snuggling, licking and yacking and hacking. If I close him out, he and the other cat play tag from one end of the house to the other. I’m doomed no matter which way I turn.

You say maybe he’s got a mineral deficiency. Or needs more water. Or a bath.  I am of the belief that he is just one big, happy cat, and when he kicks back and relaxes, he thinks, “Hey!  I’m relaxed! Laid back! Let’s get clean!”

My other cat Mysty is the fat cat. I feel bad – I have never overfed either one. It’s just that once she got her plumbing “fixed”, she put on a pound or six. As the joke goes, she never met a meal she didn’t like. Rattle the cat food container and she is all over me like white on rice. So to speak. And once she’s full, she loves to lay and snuggle … on my chest. Ten pounds of kitty makes breathing a little labored. Not that I let her lay around my neck – it’s just that she hasn’t forgotten she used to do that when she was a baby. Three years and ten pounds ago.

Pets are a wonderful thing. Cats and dogs are wonderful companions. They give of themselves 100 percent of the time, wanting nothing more than to be loved in return.

I just wish they’d be a bit more quiet about it.

Published by humoringthegoddess

I am a writer of fantasy fiction that often surrounds middle-aged women. I am a married mother of two and granny to three, a BoHo Chic kinda gal. I am recently retired and busier than when I worked 9-5. But writing and blogging is my main game.

10 thoughts on “Shhhh Kitty Kitty Kitty….”

  5. Boy, can I relate. I have 2 adopted cats, Merlin and Mystic. Merlin is a big black, fat cat with long hair. His favorite place to sleep is on my head. He is a slow eater and backs off and gives Mystic first shot at all snacks, including mozzarella cheese. Merlin does not meow but he does make a squeaking sound. 🙂

    Now, Mystic, a silver long haired tabby, opens her mouth to meow but no sound comes out so she only mouths her meows. But when she eats or cleans herself I can hear her across the house. She is like a baby and likes to be held like a baby. Merlin does not like being held but he loves laying across my lap.

    They are amazing creatures and I still believe they are only wearing furry suits. Like you, I wish all humans were like my cats who love me no matter what, make no judgments, know how and when to stretch, and believe in naps in the sunshine.
    I loved this post. 🙂

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  6. Hilarious, Claudia-I can just see Tom and Mysty through your lovely words! Beautifully done.
    I have a 4 year old manx mix named Nemo who absolutely baffles me. When I picked him from his litter, he was the only bob-tailed cat in the bunch, so I simply had to have the odd-ball, you understand… He was a mellow, loving kitten who became one of the lights of my life.
    Now, years later, he has turned into a demanding little rat who uses my family’s shoulders to leap from a kitchen counter to the top of the refrigerator. At first this stunt was incredibly startling, as you can imagine, now we expect it and warn one another if we see him eyeballing someone’s back. He also tears around the house full speed and-to use a basketball term-he “bank shots” his entire body off walls.
    When he wants to eat “Party Mix” rather than his regular dry food, he upends his bowl to let me know. Perhaps as loudly as Tom washing his precious fur, and other things. 😉
    I still adore Nemo nonetheless, as I can tell you do yours.
    Take great care, Claudia…of yourself, Tom, and Mysty!

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  9. Reblogged this on hugmamma's MIND, BODY and SOUL and commented:
    I think the goddess has spoken for a few of us pet owners. There’s always the upside to our furry critters, but then again we have to make allowances for their idiosyncracies too. I’m certain they feel the same way about us. It’s for sure my own Sitka and Juneau would meow that I drive them up the wall as much as they do me. Isn’t that what true love is all about??? Give and take…

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  10. Absolutely love, love, love this post. Had me smiling throughout. Wonderfully written…I saw everything as though I were there. Best of all, it reminded me of my own boys…Sitka and Juneau. Loveable…and irritating. Couldn’t imagine life without them, however. Lots of hugs for this one, goddess. In fact, I’m reblogging it…

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